ENTERTAINMENT / Hot Pot Column
Sneaky way to beat the rush hour
By Graham Bond (China Daily)
Updated: 2007-02-06 10:28
It was the strangest thing. There I was, enjoying a leisurely morning
stroll to work when my reverie was shattered in a barrage of blasts from
a particularly dirty-sounding car horn. The source of the driver's
irritation was, apparently, me.
This isn't the strange part, of course. I fully understand and accept the
law of the road here in China: If your vehicle is bigger than the
person/vehicle you are jostling with, it's your right of way.
Never mind that I was minding my own business, walking in a
pedestrianized area, bothering nobody.
No, I understand the way it works. If you are driving a haulage vehicle
approaching a crossing where a pensioner is attempting to cross the road
before the green pedestrian light expires, it is positively your duty to
issue a loud blast on the horn before accelerating sharply.
I appreciate the subtleties of this principle, and am clear how it may be
applied all the way down the food chain. Big trucks have more rights than
small trucks, small trucks take preference over large Buick saloons
which, in turn, boss humble Volkswagen taxis who tend to take out their
frustrations by sending motorcyclists swerving for cover. It's the law of
the jungle. And it's bad news for those who walk.
Anyway, I digress. What was unusual in this instance was not that a car
was beeping me for the heinous crime of attempting to reach my office by
the only pedestrian means possible. No, it was the car itself that caught
my attention.
For one, it was bright yellow. Even more quirky were the words printed on
the side: Emergency Earthquake Rescue. I was momentarily shocked. The
office block that now reared up in front of me looked sound enough from
the outside but I wondered if there had been some kind of terrible
internal collapse overnight.
Would I walk in to find the graveyard-shift Ayis fighting for life under
the wreckage of computer monitors and photocopying machines? I chastised
myself for hesitating and stepped aside instantly.
My panic, however, subsided a few moments later when a middle-aged lady
emerged from the back seat of the rescue vehicle. There were no masks,
oxygen tanks or pick-axes. Instead, she swished her hair, slung a handbag
over her shoulder as she headed into the building for another day at the
office.
This was a new one, even for me. I know that a police vehicle with
flashing lights and car-load of passengers does not necessarily denote
the successful apprehension of a criminal syndicate.
On the contrary, the crimes of the kind of hooligans who ride in the back
of police cars are often so minor that the uniformed drivers feel able to
drop their captives off in choice city-center locations (cinemas,
supermarkets, restaurants) and bid them farewell with a wave.
However, I expect more of my Emergency Earthquake Rescuers. Until my
Internet connection is fixed, I must insist those in the earthquake
business refrain from chauffeuring their wives to work.
(China Daily 02/06/2007 page20)
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