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Is it that hard for me to find a foreign boyfriend?!
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adrianlondon -
This isn't really anything to do with "Westerners" vs "Chinese". It's to do with "locals" vs
"foreigners".
Foreigners in Beijing are likely to be there for a reason such as study or contract work. Both of
these mean the person is only in china for a fixed amount of time. From 6 months to 2 years on
average. No one really wants to get into a deep relationship and then break it off before going
home.
It has to be real love to either change one's plans and stay in China, or to "import" your new
boy/girlfriend back to your own country when you leave.
So, most people will be looking just for sex and, if love comes on from that, then that'll be
dealt with as it happens.
You yourself say you're wanting to leave and study in the US. So, if you meet a nice boyfriend,
let's say one from England just as an example, and you fall in love ... then what? Either he'll go
back to England or you'll go to the US. Then the relationship ends (after a couple of months of
pretending it's working over emails, phione calls and MSN).
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Lu -
Reisen,
Please don't try so hard. Have fun, enjoy your student life. Meet people, be they male or female,
Chinese or foreigner, make friends. Maybe one of them will end up being your boyfriend, maybe not.
Being desperate for a man is generally not the best way to find a good one, be he foreign or
Chinese. Also, I think men prefer happy women who like their life over women who want a man to
fill their life for them.
And in the end, friends are more important than men. They can stay with you across time and
continents.
And take all my advice with a big grain of salt, as without trying too hard at all I've still been
single for the last five years or so.
elina -
Quote:
Originally Posted by muyongshi
you need to just relax and enjoy life and learn to be content being single. There are so many
thing that you can't do in a relationship that you can do when single. Relax and enjoy life! Then
in the right time the right guy will come along and you won't have to try so hard.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lu
Please don't try so hard. Have fun, enjoy your student life. Meet people, be they male or female,
Chinese or foreigner, make friends. Maybe one of them will end up being your boyfriend, maybe not.
Being desperate for a man is generally not the best way to find a good one, be he foreign or
Chinese. Also, I think men prefer happy women who like their life over women who want a man to
fill their life for them.
I agree with the above. I think you’d better 随缘, but don’t refuse 一切缘, no matter
it’s from a Chinese or foreigner, then you’ll feel comfortable, free and happy.
mind_wander -
Quote:
Please don't try so hard. Have fun, enjoy your student life. Meet people, be they male or female,
Chinese or foreigner, make friends. Maybe one of them will end up being your boyfriend, maybe not.
Being desperate for a man is generally not the best way to find a good one, be he foreign or
Chinese. Also, I think men prefer happy women who like their life over women who want a man to
fill their life for them.
And in the end, friends are more important than men. They can stay with you across time and
continents.
And take all my advice with a big grain of salt, as without trying too hard at all I've still been
single for the last five years or so (Lu).
Well, I am an Asian dude from the US. Most people online from China, didn't have trouble making
friends with me; more people wanted to learn about the Western Culture. Besides the time zone
differences, school, etc. I rather suggest take one step at a time, as everyone mentioned on this
thread; there are so many combinations when selecting or foreign guys, there might be something
you like and don't like. As for being in a serious relationship is not on my mind at this point,
maybe down the road (See its really true point many people has commented).
Oh yeah, alot of people forgot to mentioned this; when you entered the US, depending which area
your planning to study abroad in the US. If you are heading into California, there will be alot of
Asian people there and NYC. However, there is not alot of Asians in the US (6%), so this would be
your culture shock; but this does increases your chances to find foreign friends here in the US.
But, I feel everyone's comments are very positive and realistic to the point. Most of the Western
world is very independent, so being over friendly or respectful is a give or take; not alot of
people know too much about the Asian culture, but there is are people yearning in wanting to learn
about Asian culture.
DarrenJew -
reisen
If your planning to go to the US to study next year... you'll find a dozen boyfriends to go out
with you. Asian girls are in demand in America. Caucasian guy's can't get enough asian girls.
Though you may find a lot of guy's to go out with you... take your time to find a good guy. There
are a lot of jerks out there and a lot that just want to take you to bed then move onto the next
girl... they will say anything to you to charm you. Not only white but black guys and lots of
lonely asian guys...Asian guy's are lonely because many asian women in america are choosing to go
out with white guys.
CheukMo -
I agree to a large extent with DarrenJew. Asian girls are really sought after in the U.S.
As for foreign guys, especially American guys, they are all looking for sex. Some may be open for
more (love) and some just want sex. As for Nanjing, just introduce yourself to some and see what
happens. Be a friend in helping some with their Mandarin, etc but don't commit to anything other
than being a friend. If they just want sex, they will stop paying attention to in a short amount
of time.
yonglin -
Quote:
Asian guy's are lonely because many asian women in america are choosing to go out with white guys.
Asian guys need to be more assserrtive.
reisen -
Well, Thanks so much for all the people.I have seen so many replys ^^ Thanks!
I just felt lonly and helpless, then started to think of having a boyfriend or something like that.
Maybe I should not expect that much. And adjust myself to new condition first.Maybe I should Try
to be happy and satisfied， and keep a quite mood.
My dream is traveling around the world with somebody I love, then when we getting old, build a
house in Germany or Scandinavia, and live there happiliy. We can share our memories together, help
with each other. I think sex is nice, but love is a more wonderful thing in this world, like you
can always think of the other one and he thinks of you. The world is so big and cold, and we are
all so lonly.
anyway, dream is only dream.
I should think more about being alone and happy. And realize my dream that travelling around the
world by myself.
Loriquero -
You should just make some friends
love is one of those things that you usually find when you are not seeking for it
Woodpecker -
"Reisen... be as idealistic as you want. But just remember few other people are so idealistic.
That's what makes idealism great, heroic and very difficult."
From what I've seen it's actually hard for both genders. Men have gained themselves a reputation
for wanting girls just for sex, and moving from one girl to another. For every Mr. Darcey (good
man) there are 5 Mr. Wickhams. Ironically, those very jerks seem to get the most attention from
girls. As a result, their victims get put off dating and it becomes that much harder for men who
are romantic idealists, good, honest and kind, to find their 'Princess'. The good guys pay for the
sins of the bad. On the other hand, there are some girls who are really quite unattractive in
terms of who they are. Gold diggers and selfish, controlling people who will marry to get what
they want not for love...you get the idea. Those people can put off the men and lose all hope of
finding a handsome, moral 'Prince'.
The best thing you can do is to make friends, and there is nothing wrong with that - they are the
ones who will support you in your lonely moments. Friendship builds trust, which is needed for any
relationship, friends or otherwise. If you meet a guy you like, then they will be more open to you
if they know you can be trusted as well. Some have had their fingers burned by female jerks.
You'll soon know if they are boyfriend material or not. At least, that's how I see it. And don't
have a relationship just for the sake of it.
Remember, there are good men out there (and good girls too!), so don't lose hope. Good luck!
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